Just thinking out loud

I've been watching the devastation of Haiti on the news and I can barely believe what I am seeing is true. Dump trucks dumping dead bodies. Bull dozers shoveling cement and bodies. Why???? Then I see other stories of Haitians burying their loved ones. It hardly seems real. Watching it makes me want to help. It makes me wish I was a nurse or doctor. The reality is that I am not either of those and I don't see in the future of becoming one. Some of you reading this will ask WHY NOT?? Why can't you go to school to become a Nurse or Doctor? I'll remind some of you that I did go to Nursing School and FAILED. I gave up to quickly. It was only a matter of repeating clinicals. It's in my personality to give up to quickly. It's a regret I carry. I don't regret what God had in store for me after failing to return to Nursing School. Two beautiful little girls to raise. A family to hold together. I've been the glue. Most days I am happy to be just the glue. Making sure the girls have everything they need. Reminding them to brush their teeth, asking them their spelling words. As for now, I see in the future the same routine. Possibly helping my daughter off to college, going with her to buy the perfect prom dress. Or hopefully being there in the middle of the night when she calls to come get her. It's a simple routine. Most days I am content with this routine. Other days I want more out of life. I suspect I am not alone wanting more. I am not only the glue but I am human.